Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I wish I could…

… be polyamorous. No, really. All the people I know who have chosen to be poly seem much happier than the monogamous sort, who hang themselves by the neck plagued by the social stereotype of finding that perfect partner (same gender or opposite) and setting up that perfect little house with the perfect little dog and the perfect little study with lots and lots of perfect little bookshelves and a perfect little reading niche with a comfy armchair and… Don’t mind me, I’m just getting way ahead of myself as usual.

But seriously. Given the number of failed relationships my friends and I have seen, polyamoury should be a logical choice. I have this friend who is struggling through a difficult divorce and has a sometime girlfriend as well. In his head, he is committed neither to his soon-to-be-ex-wife nor his part-time lover, but only to his work and the development of his mind and experiences. Now that can hardly be called a polyamorous lifestyle, but it’s a start, methinks. To start, to have that perfect beginning, one needs to rid oneself of the idea that one should have a sense of commitment in one’s mind in order to be happy with another person. Like Annie in Sartre’s Nausea, we need to be happy with perfect moments rather than dream of a perfect life.

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